just a series of blurs

I recently had a dream about a best friend I had in middle school. The dream itself was ridiculous, but the emotions in it felt so real. I miss that girl a lot. I haven't spoken to her in years. We used to write endless letters, talked for hours and even during middle school, we were extremely honest to each other about sex and boys. Not that I exactly understood how sex worked, but I've been after boys my whole life. Anyway, in the dream, I was telling her how much I missed her and how I've been trying to reach her for so long. It made me think of all the other friends I don't talk to anymore. I used to have a new best friend every year. Eventually, I just got tired of the same person, which sounds awful, but I guess my attention span was only so long back then. (Well, actually, some things never change.) I want to say that you realize who your true friends are as time goes by, but I also feel like that's just not fair. That seems to make the moments that I shared with them so insignificant. Those moments where we spent hours on the phone, hours in front of the TV, hours doing whatever it is to make the bond closer meant a lot at the time. So what happened? How do best friends drift apart like that? How do the most comfortable moments become the most awkward? It happens to everyone. Rarely do people remain best friends with the same person since kindergarten. I just hope that the people who I consider my closest friends now will still be my closest friends when college is over. It already breaks my heart to think that perhaps they might just be another memory of my past.

'tis life.