I think this upcoming week will basically be the worst week ever for this quarter (minus finals week, duhh.) I have two midterms, a chapter test, presentation and oral test for Chinese and a psych paper. Eff my life, much? But at least all this all falls the week before MY BIRTHDAY! I'm going to be 21. Finally. Although there's not much I would do besides being able to buy alcohol. I'm having my first ever party this Saturday. My own legit college birthday party. Let's please keep our fingers crossed for fun times. I invited way too many people but I had this overwhelming fear that no one would show up. I'm expecting 50-60ish people, so we'll see. I told my mom and I specifically told her I'd buy "drinks," but I don't think she understood what I was saying. She asked me how I could possibly feed so many people and suggested buying Costco pizza. But then before she hung up, she advised me not to get drunk and drink juice instead. So who knows. I'm such an effing people pleaser because I'm mainly worried about what other people will think. I'm worried about what music to play, what drinks to get, blah blah blah...what the eff ever, it's my birthday, I DO WHAT I WANT.

do you know that feeling that things are going really well but you have this other nagging feeling that it's not going to last?

insecurities will be the death of me.